see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is wine microwaveable?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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