He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
