i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
