youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
