her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
