You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
