He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
