Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
