just tell him i said nine months
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
