there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
