She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
