Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
