then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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