batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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