ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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