doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
