You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
