I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
