why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
