I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
