there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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