College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You did what with his pubic hair?
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