And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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