So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
