I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
