why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wish there were birth control emojis
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
