It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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