This is not my ceiling
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
