when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
