tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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