i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
