why do cheetos always look like penises
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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