I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
