Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
