I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
