put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
