She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
