Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
