dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
