can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
