You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
