Are we in a gay sports bar?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
