Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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