I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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