i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
