Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What happened to fro yo and sex?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
