i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
