Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
