You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
