I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
