I feel like abortions should bother me more
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
