btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
