I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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